Parting Ways

Ah, I've put off making this post for a couple of days, but now it's the last thing that needs doing before it's all "done" in my mind, so here it is.

Pet--well, serina--and I parted ways a couple of days ago.

As break ups go, it was a good one.  No one did anything wrong and there's no blame to be assigned.  Put simply, she realized that slavery is not the right thing for her right now.  So, we dissolved our contract.

Because a lot of people use my blog as a learning tool, here is how it happened and how we did so with grace:

Once she asked for release and I agreed, we made a time to sort through the details (the release happened when we were apart, via email).  The next day she came to my house so we could do so.

Clothes that I bought for her using her money, I bagged up and gave to her.  Some of the clothes I bought her using my money, I kept.  I don't know if I will ever have another sub who is the right gender and size to wear them, but I am fond of them and I wanted to keep them as an option.

I removed her, or she removed herself, from apps that we used for household management.  So she was removed from the gps tracking app I have, she was removed from the to do list app we use, and we deleted each other's calendars from our accounts.

We discussed social networks briefly - I told her that I had no intention of removing her from my social networks but that if I change my mind on that in the coming weeks not to take it too personally.

Her boots, that I bought for her as her first earned leather, she kept.  That might sound natural but I feel it's worth mentioning anyway.  Regardless of where she goes in life she earned those, they are hers.

Finally, she returned the key to my house, and the collar I had her wear.

And that was it.  Boy drove her home.

I am, to put it mildly, sad about it.  It came out of nowhere to me, as far as I knew we were doing very well.  But... well, it takes two to make a relationship and only one to break it.

The collar is sitting on the desk in front of me as I type this.  I am not yet sure what I will do with it.  At the moment I think that in a couple of weeks or so, once I have felt the worst of the grief, I may bury it.  If I don't do that, then I may just put it in a box in storage.  I don't know yet.

So, it's just the two of us again, me and boy.  He's upset about it too.  We were a little family and now we have lost one.

Holding Steel

I know I said I was going to write about what Leather means to me in this post, however, something came up that needed to be written about. Please forgive me, I will post about what Leather means to me soon.

Today, the boy and I went to purchase his collar.

It wasn't meant to be a big thing, actually - and in a way, it wasn't. It was simply preparation for our collaring ceremony, me buying the collar that he will wear. The collar itself is lovely - it is a steel cable that closes and can be locked with a padlock. Here is a link to it, if you'd like to see. It is a very masculine collar that can easily pass as jewellery during the day while he is at work or seeing his family.

We went and tried on a couple of sizes to make sure it would fit right, looked at them in the mirror, and I selected the 19 inch one as it may be a little bigger, but I felt that helped it look more vanilla during the day and also would give a little extra leeway for him to wriggle once it's locked. I paid for it, then we decided to look around the store a little before leaving.

We bumped into a friend while there, which was a pleasant surprise, but not what this post is about - however it was a lovely moment to be in a BDSM store and meet a friend who you met through the scene, talk about D/s as small talk, then part ways. It struck me how similar it was to any person meeting their friend in a store - a housewife meeting her friend in a homewares store, a bloke meeting his friend at Bunnings, that sort of thing.

We got in the car and started home, and I took the collar out to take the price tag off it and examine it much more closely - and bond with it, as it is my collar now.

As we rolled along, I began to think about this collar.

This steel cable collar has been one that I have been in love with for years, ever since I first saw it. I remember the first time I saw it, and that I thought how much I would love to have someone in my life that I could lock that collar about their neck. I would look at it online and fantasize about having someone wear that collar.

And then, all of a sudden, I have someone. I had bought this collar for the purpose of locking it around my boy's neck. Not only had I chosen it, but he had chosen it with me, and he loved it as well.

My dream had come true.

I looked over at the boy, who was driving. He was bouncing his head and singing along to Fountains of Wayne that were playing on his ipod. He was happy, he was beautiful, and he was mine.

Is mine.

It is more beautiful than I can express. To dream of these relationships, to dream of these collars, to dream of this life... and then to have it! Not only to have it, but to have it be even better than I had dreamed.

This collar, this boy. My collar, my boy.

My boy, you are so beautiful, and I am so honoured to be your Daddy.