Saturday, November 28, 2009

Dear Future [blank]

Dear future [blank],

I'm not sure what you are, just yet. I don't know your gender, I don't know your kinks, I don't even know your exact relationship to me.

Will you be my slave, my totally owned property? Will you be my sidekick submissive, as I am hero, and we fight the crime of sex negativity together? Will you be my puppy, to be petted and fed and sleep in the cage? Will you be a patient student, wanting to learn what I've learned from those before me? Will you be the submissive of my boy, who wants to be a part of my life as well? Or will you be something else entirely, that I haven't even thought of?

I don't know you yet, [blank]. But I do love you, dearly.

But I'm not ready for you yet.

I don't want you to think that this means I don't want you. I do want you, and in fact I want you terribly. I dream about you, I fantasize about you.

However, I am not ready yet. There are many physical things I must pull together in the coming months... my housing situation, my emotional situation... I have books to read and study to do, and things to organize. I'm not ready for you yet, because I want to be as pulled together as I can get before I meet you.

I hope that's all right.

Of course, if you appear before then, I hope that I have the strength to know it, and to accept you without worrying about the fact that I don't feel ready yet.

I look forward to meeting you, [blank], I think about you almost every day. I hope you can forgive me for not being ready for you yet.

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