Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Live in D/s

After weeks of discussion (and more to come), the boy and I have decided to move in together, in a few months from now.

It was not something we discussed lightly. We both have a lot of Stuff(tm) about commitment, and live-in relationships. He due to inexperience (he has never lived with a partner before) and I due to baggage (thanks to a truly messy breakup from a few years ago). We're both very independent and need our space - me especially.

In discussing, we've agreed the best option is to find some sort of balance between living with your partner, and just sharehousing with them - even more important when you remember that we are polyamorous, and need the configuration to be comfortable for us and any other partners we bring home.

One thing that I've been worrying about is making the transition from D/s to live-in D/s.

For example, as we live separately, we have our own chores to do in our own houses - and the boy does mine for me when he comes over and I ask/tell him to (or he squirms away and does them without me asking). But when we live together, though, if he does most/all of the chores - will that work as simply as that? I do not want him to resent me for not doing my share.

And what about sleeping habits? Often when the boy stays over at my place, he sleeps in the cage. But I have little desire to see him always sleep in the cage, and even if he did, what would we do with his bed? Where would we *put* the cage, if he was sleeping in it every night? The dungeon? The living room? His room? Not my room, that's for certain - that stubborn "I need my space" feeling cancels that out.

What about slaves? I do want a live in slave at some point, how will we need to negotiate that?

So as you can see, we have a lot to work out. But I'm feeling confident, we're very good at working through our stuff together. I will keep you all posted. :)

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