Service is a big part of the relationship between the boy and me. I feel valued when boy performs service for me, and boy feels valued when he can provide me with service. It's a good arrangement.
However there are snags. I am disabled, and I have trouble accepting service for things I am unable to do myself. Much of the housework, for example, is something that the boy enjoys to do as service to me - but I struggle with that, because he is doing it because he has to, not because he wants to. This is of course the reason why I hired a cleaner a while back. She comes twice a month and does all the big cleaning like scrubbing the showers and mopping the floors. Her, I am paying money and so there is a clear exchange going on that makes it okay for me to accept.
But it's always been a struggle with the boy. Even though I know he enjoys serving me, I am always worried that he will resent me for "not pulling my weight".
Anyway, recently I've been finding it easier to accept things like housework as service. I'm not sure what's changed, but it's good.
The thing that makes service special is when it is received in a meaningful way. One of the struggles with how I feel about housework as service is that despite all my above-mentioned issues, I have always *wanted* to appreciate housework service in the same way that I appreciate the other ways boy serves me.
So, I am changing in the best possible way. I am finding it easier and easier to receive service with a smile.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
100th Post!
So this is my 100th post to this blog!
I feel like I should do something important, like make a special post or run a contest or something, but honestly I can't think of anything. So I suppose I'll just talk about my life in Leather and where I'm at at the moment. That's still a pretty decent thing to do for my 100th post, I think.
So let's talk about the boy, first. Boy and I are doing very well. Our fifth anniversary is coming up in a bit over six months and I'm already freaking out about it a little - this is the longest and most successful relationship I've ever had (admittedly not that big of a deal at my young age of 25), and it shows no signs of cracking or going downhill any time soon. We suit each other very well and are very compatible both now and in the long term. Things are really good between us.
My own journey is plodding along very nicely. I am a slow sort of person by nature, I like to think about things a lot and move slowly, and I am moving perfectly well at my own pace. I am valuing the journey very much.
I am well connected in my community to many friends and acquaintances that enrich my life and make being a part of the community as important to my Leather life as my inclination to D/s. Even though I'm very shy and I'm still struggling with that (and probably will for some time yet), I have only ever been welcomed and treated with love and care.
I am passively in the market for a slave, but I am not looking very hard yet. I am still sorting out some details in my life before I worry about actively looking.
Despite recent challenges, my life is going extremely well and I feel that Leather enriches my life and fulfils me in a very important way.
So that's my 100th post. Life is good. I am happy.
I feel like I should do something important, like make a special post or run a contest or something, but honestly I can't think of anything. So I suppose I'll just talk about my life in Leather and where I'm at at the moment. That's still a pretty decent thing to do for my 100th post, I think.
So let's talk about the boy, first. Boy and I are doing very well. Our fifth anniversary is coming up in a bit over six months and I'm already freaking out about it a little - this is the longest and most successful relationship I've ever had (admittedly not that big of a deal at my young age of 25), and it shows no signs of cracking or going downhill any time soon. We suit each other very well and are very compatible both now and in the long term. Things are really good between us.
My own journey is plodding along very nicely. I am a slow sort of person by nature, I like to think about things a lot and move slowly, and I am moving perfectly well at my own pace. I am valuing the journey very much.
I am well connected in my community to many friends and acquaintances that enrich my life and make being a part of the community as important to my Leather life as my inclination to D/s. Even though I'm very shy and I'm still struggling with that (and probably will for some time yet), I have only ever been welcomed and treated with love and care.
I am passively in the market for a slave, but I am not looking very hard yet. I am still sorting out some details in my life before I worry about actively looking.
Despite recent challenges, my life is going extremely well and I feel that Leather enriches my life and fulfils me in a very important way.
So that's my 100th post. Life is good. I am happy.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Leather Beginnings
Boy does not really identify as a Leather boy. He identifies as a boy, and as *my* boy specifically, but Leather is more something that *I* am, and he just sits on the outside of.
Recently he has been considering taking the step over the line from "not Leather" to "Leather". Of course it is mostly an identity thing, but for him it also encompasses some other aspects, such as rituals and expectations and protocols and things.
We have been talking about it. It's my belief that he is ready to start the journey but fear is stopping him. I know the boy well, so I am happy to wait a little while to let the fear wash over him before we try dissolving it.
There is time. Life is not a race.
Recently he has been considering taking the step over the line from "not Leather" to "Leather". Of course it is mostly an identity thing, but for him it also encompasses some other aspects, such as rituals and expectations and protocols and things.
We have been talking about it. It's my belief that he is ready to start the journey but fear is stopping him. I know the boy well, so I am happy to wait a little while to let the fear wash over him before we try dissolving it.
There is time. Life is not a race.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Oh, the last few weeks.
Where to even begin.
The unfortunate thing is that I'm unable to go into too many details.
The short version:
* Boy, of course, with his broken arm.
* Boy had some other health issues and we've been spending a lot of time at the doctor (he is doing fine at the moment).
* A dear friend is going through a rough patch and has moved in with us for a little while.
And there's probably more that I've forgotten. Hence the radio silence, you see!
The unfortunate side effect is that I've been missing the scene terribly. Boy and I still have our daily rituals but even some of those fell aside while he has been sick.
It's been... rough.
At any rate I am starting to turn back into a human, I am off to a fetish event tomorrow to get back into the swing of things. Boy and I have been talking a lot and things are moving. Huzzuh! And thus, this blog will not continue to be so empty :)
The unfortunate thing is that I'm unable to go into too many details.
The short version:
* Boy, of course, with his broken arm.
* Boy had some other health issues and we've been spending a lot of time at the doctor (he is doing fine at the moment).
* A dear friend is going through a rough patch and has moved in with us for a little while.
And there's probably more that I've forgotten. Hence the radio silence, you see!
The unfortunate side effect is that I've been missing the scene terribly. Boy and I still have our daily rituals but even some of those fell aside while he has been sick.
It's been... rough.
At any rate I am starting to turn back into a human, I am off to a fetish event tomorrow to get back into the swing of things. Boy and I have been talking a lot and things are moving. Huzzuh! And thus, this blog will not continue to be so empty :)
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