Service is a big part of the relationship between the boy and me. I feel valued when boy performs service for me, and boy feels valued when he can provide me with service. It's a good arrangement.
However there are snags. I am disabled, and I have trouble accepting service for things I am unable to do myself. Much of the housework, for example, is something that the boy enjoys to do as service to me - but I struggle with that, because he is doing it because he has to, not because he wants to. This is of course the reason why I hired a cleaner a while back. She comes twice a month and does all the big cleaning like scrubbing the showers and mopping the floors. Her, I am paying money and so there is a clear exchange going on that makes it okay for me to accept.
But it's always been a struggle with the boy. Even though I know he enjoys serving me, I am always worried that he will resent me for "not pulling my weight".
Anyway, recently I've been finding it easier to accept things like housework as service. I'm not sure what's changed, but it's good.
The thing that makes service special is when it is received in a meaningful way. One of the struggles with how I feel about housework as service is that despite all my above-mentioned issues, I have always *wanted* to appreciate housework service in the same way that I appreciate the other ways boy serves me.
So, I am changing in the best possible way. I am finding it easier and easier to receive service with a smile.