Saturday, March 31, 2012


Oh boy, blog, where do I even start.

Well, breakup wise, I am coping well. Sad, mourning, yes. But that's healthy. I'm having a little pity party at my place tonight, literally - I have some close friends coming around and we're going to drink and be merry. I may or may not talk about my feelings, but I feel that tonight will be the catalyst for me in terms of healing.

I am doing my best to be kind to myself. I'm succeeding. Clearly this is a thing that gets easier with practice. :)

In terms of the girl who has approached me - whose online handle is Serina so I think I'll stick with that in terms of what I call her on this blog - we spoke again this past week and discussed some options. I need a little extra time to mourn before I can take on a submissive, so we will speak again this coming Thursday.

But it is becoming clear to me that this is a thing that is happening, this is a change that is coming.

We've agreed to have a period of consideration of three months, where we can be D/s and see how well we work in those roles. After that, we'll see how we go. But we are both talking with a view to an eventual M/s relationship. If it all goes swimmingly, the fantasy-based-in-reality is that in a year, perhaps, we will move her into my house with me and the boy, and I will collar her.

Despite having been talking about this for a couple of weeks now and making plans very carefully that move very slowly but almost everyone's standards - this is all happening very fast for me. I'm a very slow person, I process things slowly and I make decisions with a lot of thought behind them.

I am trying to seize the day and all that without giving up my nature, which is to move slowly and carefully. I think that nature of mine is important and useful, especially when it comes to negotiating D/s relationships.

Anyway, I'm not really sure where I'm going with that thought.

The coming three months will be interesting. It's going to be good though, not just to see how we work together, but this period of consideration is good for me as well - it gives me time to slowly get accustomed to expending energy on a new person. Which is something that I will take some time to get used to - after all, D/s wise, I have only had my boy for years now. I've learned to fill in time. Now I have to unlearn that a little, make my life a little more concise, so as to fit in the time to expend energy on a new person.

Huh, that was interesting. In a sentence I wrote and then deleted, I noticed that I seem to be struggling to type Serina's name with a capital letter. This is interesting because I've never particularly bought into the whole capitalization matters thing when it comes to D/s. Perhaps my feelings on that are changing.


Serina is very much interested in handing over control of as much as I am comfortable taking, it seems, and a sign of this is her desire to have me modify her. She is very adamant that at the very least I change her hair. I'm amused by this but it works well for me because that's something I am very interested in. So the first thing I will be doing once I officially place her under consideration is change her hair. :)


  1. break up?

    no more boy?

    I must have missed something.

  2. Oh no, me and the boy are doing perfectly fine! My vanilla girlfriend and I broke up.

    Everything with the boy is fine. :)

  3. In terms of Big Names and little names, I can see both sides. On one side, I can get why having a little extra thing to remind people of places is fine. On the other side, its a very minor thing for me, quite trivial. I will, as always, defer to you (You?).

    I'm glad that the three months thing is helping you feel not-too-rushed, and I'm also quite comfortable knowing that you are setting the schedule, so I don't feel like I'm causing you to rush or anything. Steady does it can only be good.

    Also, my wish to give you my hair amuses you? I'm not here for your entertainment, you know! Huff. :P