Monday, May 27, 2013


First of all, thank you so much for your comments on my last entry.  This is a trying time and your comments were greatly appreciated, thank you.  ♥


D/s relationships quickly break down if the submissive withholds their feelings or thoughts.

Something I have experienced many times with both boy and pet is that they will stop letting everything out to me, and that's a problem.  I can only make the best decisions with the information I'm given, and if I'm not given complete information I am not making complete decisions.

One of the hardest things you will have to learn as a submissive, no doubt, is that you cannot keep things from your Dominant.  You can't not tell them your thoughts or feelings.  You can't hold yourself back from being affectionate or devoted.  You can't give anything less than 100% of yourself when it's required of you.

Frequently, the Dominant is not giving back an equal share of thoughts, feelings or actions.  That's okay.  These are, by design, unequal relationships.  If you want an equal give and take relationship, then D/s and especially M/s is not the relationship models you should be looking at.

That's not to say Doms should keep things from their subs.  Not at all.  Dominants have their duties too, but they are different from the submissives.

This last couple of months have been awful for me, and pet especially but boy a little too have fallen into this thing where they "don't want to bother me" with things.

No.  Silly submissives, that's not how this works.

Tell me everything.  Give me everything.  What I choose to do with it is up to me, even if it's nothing.  But they, as my submissives, do not get to decide what is best for me.

I've been keeping much to myself and have told them that I am checking up on them less right now because I need to focus on other things.  They, however, are not on holiday, they are still expected to be my submissives and continue giving me access to their power and authority.  Unfair?  Perhaps so.  But as I said, this isn't a relationship model for people who want fair and equal relationships.

1 comment:

  1. I love that. I mean everything you're saying about communication. I'm a young-ish sub who hasn't actually been in a relationship yet, so this part of D/s really attracts me, and I like hearing about how you incorporate and work with this kind of communication in your relationships :)