Monday, May 25, 2015

Long Time No Blog

Hello blog, sorry for the long time spent away.

Honestly, there's been a couple of reasons for the lack of blogging.

The first is that I've simply not had the time to focus on kink.  My health has been dreadful, and we've been through a lot of stress - we've moved house back into the city, one of our cats got extremely ill, and generic life stress abounded.  So kink has been on the backburner.

The other reason is that, honestly, I'm still a little heartbroken over serina.  It's been well over a year now since we parted ways, but I'm a very ... I'm not sure what the word is, exactly.  Intense maybe?  Attached?  Person.  I am slow to fall in love, however once I am there I'm pretty sure there's no way out for me - I'm still in love with everyone I've loved, regardless of how our relationships went or ended.

And it is hard, as I said - losing not just a relationship, but a relationship that you had a future planned for... it's very hard to lose that future as well.

And so I've been heartbroken and not in the right emotional space to consider new relationships, and barely having enough drive in me to maintain the one I have with my boy.

We are fine, boy and I - we are going through a bit of a normal slowing down that we're working through.  We've been together eight years now, so we've become incredibly familiar, and the relationship does take extra work this far in to make sure no one is getting bored or resentful.

I am, however, finally starting to perk up in terms of my health and my situation.  Hopefully I will be able to get back involved with the community again in the coming weeks - I've missed it a lot, but I did need my time away I think.  Although I've never really felt "away" from the community really, I feel like I keep it in my  heart even if I'm not out going to things.

Still a long way off new D/s relationships I think, but that's comforting in a way, because there's no reason to add seeking stress to my rejoining of the local community.  It will be nice to try and slide back into things, it's been far too long.

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