So remember how ages ago now I decided I was going to hire a cleaner?
Serina is very service-focussed and it's been interesting watching us grapple with that. Because I am bad at receiving service like housework, in fact that's one of the reasons why I hired a cleaner in the first place (that and the fact boy just doesn't have enough hours in the day to do everything).
I've been struggling with getting comfortable receiving service from serina. It's taking time, because it's such a big thing for me. It's strange because service is one of the things that most makes me feel loved, but at the same time, I have such a hard time receiving it. And that's annoying, that is, because she feels best when she is serving, she feels useful and comfortable.
So we've been trying to work it out. A couple of things have occurred.
The first is simply that I'm getting better. I've been watching the way she flounders and feels awkward and jittery if she's not being useful. Because of that, I'm learning that giving her tasks to do, giving her a way to give me service, really truly is a good thing for her and not putting her out at all.
The second is that for a month or two, serina is going nomad, so she can save money to move in with her girl. She's storing her stuff here (it's not a lot of stuff, about a car load). She wants to be able to pay us back, for lack of a better phrase, for being able to do that.
She asked me the other day if she could take over whatever cleaning duties the cleaner had.
And I said okay.
This is a pretty big deal for me. But the fact is that I've seen the way serina feels strange if she's not being useful, and it sure helps that the cleaner is pretty expensive and not having to pay that money would be pretty great. So I said okay.
So I'm learning. I'm getting better at receiving.
Now I have the unenviable task of going around the house and writing a list of cleaning duties for serina, and then making sure she knows how to do them all. But, well, good things don't come without cost I suppose. :p